My Fragile Self

Im in no condition to do anything right now. I have been sick for a month or so, but I seem to be pretty good in hiding the fact that Im sick. While writing palancas, I was actually on the verge of collapsing, most of the ideas I wrote came from songs which were being played. While studying, I once dozed off to wake up at 7pm, 3 hours after I arrived home. Once I arrived I couldnt help but fall on my bed, I think I even broke some things inside my bag as I relentlessly threw it on the floor. I slept with no electric fan, no air con but under the hot dry day, in my room. I was so weak. And just a while ago, my tummy has been aching, real bad. My cough hasnt fully healed and I still get sipon. Sometimes I feel extremely cold even though its hot, sometimes I need to perspire just to feel som heat, just like this afternoon, though it was hot, I wore my jacket.

My body seems to be very fragile, after all this years of immunity from being sick, it has all taken a toll and has ganged up on me this past few months. I remember once not getting sick even once for more than a year, right now I seem to be crumbling, not just my body but everything around me as well.

I seem to amaze myself how I end up doing so many things despite all these circumstances. I still teach on Sundays, I still attend my chess practice and my French Classes, I still try to study hard and above all that High School Website (Which has been driving me nuts lately!). I guess I need a break, really. This afternoon I was running back and fourth from the HS Building, first stop at SB 204, then HS Library, then Lower Years Work Area, the Library once again, then the canteen, then back to the library, then I just gave up and attended my practice for chess, Ms. Emie went home early today.

So I see myself as a glass with little cracks on the sides, slowly making its way to the center. I wonder what will happen when this glass will actually break?