I’ve never been flat out funny. Most jokes I say, some guy from the back shouts out “weeeeeh” (and the really extended one). And sometimes, something that is supposed to be funny ends up more like something very serious. As long as I’m saying it, they wouldn’t know the difference whether it is a joke or note, whether I am sarcastic or not, that’s me, I’ve never been the type who tells jokes and could get an entire class to laugh out. Coincidentally, if it isn’t a joke some guy laughs out loud, maybe I should give up joking, and instead live out my everyday life, after all more people end up laughing.
A few compilations of idiotic things I’ve done through the course of my really short life, well at least what I can remember.
The 6:00 pm incident
This was last year, after a grueling day at school I was drained. I was seated at the lobby when Edwin called me up and he said he was there. Okay, I go out and almost open the first car I see, a white trooper. Well, the thing is our car is a green pajero, a very distinct difference. Luckily, I was almost about to open it, can you imagine the embarrassment I would have had if ever I opened it. A few minutes later, when the real owner went inside, I found out it was my teacher’s car.
Constant bumping
Sometime while with my friends, whether it is at school or it’s at the mall or even at home, I end up bumping or stepping into something. My favorite spot is the green glass doors near staircase b, where I bump into it at least once a week.
Running after something
This happened a few days ago. Edwin called me to tell me that I need to go home already. So I ran out of the gate in attempt to find him. I ran towards the left without even looking for the car. “Look before you leap, keep that in mind”. When I reach the end, where the hell is the car? I look back and see Edwin waving at me, and one of my teachers laughing at me.
Jamming for the rights of children jammed
During this performance, I was on the keyboard yet again, and my keyboard wanted to learn how to be independent. It started playing the preset drum loops on its own ruining our performance. No pressure, we all just laughed it off afterwards.
ArcherPride party; stupidity amidst my idols
Oh this is really funny; after the championship, I was able to persuade Vince (Filamor) to come along with me during this party. Anyway everything seemed perfect, until the picture slide show began of how DLSU got to the top. DLSU vs UE, 2nd round, it was the 8th picture I think that Vince and I were featured. Shock, I ran around and hit the wall like a blind man. I think Vince stepped away from me from that point.
Yellow Cab and Spiderman
2 years ago, I remember like it was yesterday. I was gonna give Liaa (drummer of PSD) and Lia their palanca. So, we arranged the Liaa, me, Jaco and Archie meet up at Yellow Cab. It was 8 pm and none of us had the guts to go inside and give her those darn letters. Edwin started calling, I have to go home. When they went out to finally confront us, I walked over to them and said “Sino sa inyo si Liaa? (Which one of you is Liaa?)”. I completely forgot the description Archie gave me; I looked at the back and Jaco was looking for Spiderman and Archie was looking down. The two grils pointed at each other and I asked again “Sino sa inyo si Liaa?” and Liaa acknowledged, I gave her the Palancas and went off. 3 seconds later, I realized what I just did.
Sabaw on the floor
I remember I was trying to compose a new song for Sabaw, entitled Sabaw. Fortunately I never pushed through, I only had the chorus in mind the day. When I told Jet the idea, he suggested a new line for the chorus. “Sabaw, Sabaw, Sabaw, Sabaw” just going over and over again. Yes, it wasn’t really that funny at first but the way he said it was hilarious. I ended up blowing all the sipon in my nose unto the floor and spilling my iced tea as well. The others were just laughing.
The tallest man
During merienda at Vince’s house, we had our usual table conversation, usually finding ways to embarrass or annoy Jaco. During a momentary silence, I blurt out “Pinaka matankad si Jaco pag nakahiga tayo (Jaco is the tallest when we all lie down)”. It took them almost 5 seconds to comprehend and understand what I just said. *wink wink*.
I’m a frustrated comedian, I just can’t say a joke.
